A Little Bit Suss

advent calendar fun - feeling creative

2007-11-12T15:55:00.000+11:00

more journal pages

2007-04-17T17:05:00.000+10:00

Just incase you thought I'd disappeared (again) here are some more of my most recent journal pages.

This one I did whilst at Soul Survivour. The text that has been outlined says 'Bright with fire'.

In this one I used an amazing photo I cut from Readers Digest that shows the Korean Army doing their winter training. The text on the green page says 'I shall turn out to be the hero'.

I'm enjoying having a journal to play in. 'Tis a many splendid thing.

absurd?

2007-03-28T00:33:00.000+10:00

Some small, very very quick sketches that i did of the presenters at a 'Theatre of the Absurd' seminar this afternoon at the Malthouse. I got sick of taking notes, so I drew the guys. I figure that if I draw pictures of them I will be able to remember them more fully and thus remember what they said far better.

The seminar itself was interesting...Absurdism is a rather fascinating style of theatre. Existensialism is a little depressing I suppose, with everything being useless and God being dead and all. The style itself is illogical and senseless and quite accurately reflects our broken forms of humanity. Absurd - sad - kind of darkly funny.

I'm looking forward to seeing the piece that the seminar was focussed around... and luckily I get to do exactly that in just over two weeks when I get to go see Geoffrey Rush in 'Exit the King'. Yay!

Russian Dolls

2007-03-25T22:36:00.000+10:00

And with the entry of a new journal...she's back!

I'm aiming to create at least one double paged journal collage/art/writing each week, possibly more often. I will post the results here...

Anyway, this is my first spread in the wonderful new journal. The words that have been circled (or in this case squared?) on the right page are: beautiful together in spirit.

welcome back 'A Little Bit Suss'

Elf Owls

2006-12-02T22:39:00.000+11:00

I was delighted when Laura brought a box full of our old schoolwork and journals back from Grandma and Grandpa's. These particular pages are from my journal when I was 5 years old.

If you can't make out my spelling... the page says: 'Elf owls live in the desert. They live in cactuses and are very cute. Mum calls me her elf owl. '

Also...as you can see, some of my earlier artistic attempts. I had a rather obsessive fixation with owls.

Indifference

2006-11-22T23:53:00.000+11:00

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference."-Elie Wiesel

Jolly Croc

2006-10-23T17:16:00.000+10:00

Not my own work, but it makes me smile.

today

2006-09-29T10:43:00.000+10:00

Cassia

2006-09-08T18:11:00.000+10:00

Cassia was one of the beautiful kids at Yuendumu...this is a charcoal portrait I did of her.

happy happy happy

2006-09-03T22:39:00.000+10:00

I just am! (and this is a happy picture...)

Jealous

2006-09-03T00:01:00.000+10:00

James 4: 4-6You're cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way. And do you suppose God doesn't care? The proverb has it that "he's a fiercely jealous lover." And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find. It's common knowledge that "God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble." (the message)

This stuck out to me tonight, the concept of God as a Jealous lover is a little...uncomfortable sometimes, because for God to be a lover and a jealous one at that, makes me realise how much less I deserve to be loved. It's one thing to not always be intune with what a master tells you, but when He's your lover the betrayal is so much worse. The fact that God is willing to accept people that do cheat on him all the time is nothing short of amazing.
Grace is a beautiful word.

hungry

2006-08-26T16:49:00.000+10:00

well I'm almost 21 hours into the 40 hour famine, and I want food!! 40 hours is tough for a girl who normally eats between every class at school.

oh and thanks so much Bec for making and eathing muffins, scrambled eggs, bacon and coffee infront of me this morning. I really appreciate it!

Duck in the Attic

2006-08-20T21:59:00.000+10:00

Yesterday Em's friend Heather popped around to do a spot of Photography for Em and my vintage clothing collection (Duck in the Attic). Handy to have a Vis Com student on hand who needed a project...here's a couple of shots I got to be the subject of. Yay for nice photos!

Hope

2006-08-16T16:11:00.000+10:00

The Invitation

2006-08-09T21:22:00.000+10:00

'The Invitation' - Oriah the mountain dreamer

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

I'm Yours

2006-08-08T22:35:00.000+10:00

This was one of my first collages... the quote in the corner is one of my favourites; from Billy - age 4

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know your name is safe in their mouth.'

Auki

2006-08-02T23:00:00.000+10:00

Auki is where we lived for the first years in the solomons. Tonight I went looking through our old photo albums, and couldn't help but think how crazily lucky I am to have grown up how and where I did...

This Photo captures one of my all time favourite memories. We were building steps down the front of the hill that our house was on, and it was pouring with that amazing tropical rain. The hill quickly became a mud-bath and I must have spent the whole afternoon just covering myself in the stuff. I was out on the half dug steps and remember just making myself slip in the mud over and over again. The dress was never the same!

...pumpkin babies (Em on the left, me on the right)

...in pirate mode (Bec, Claire and Em)

...at the beach..squinting into the glare!

...through the roof in one of the village houses

and finally, my lovely sisters and I on a rock. (Bec, Me, Laura and Em)

What a way to grow up.
Now I'm all homesick.

dreaming

2006-07-27T22:05:00.000+10:00

Wouldn't it be amazing to live there? Impractical I suppose, and extraordinarily hard to access, not to mention isolated, but it's stunning nonetheless.

losing it

2006-07-26T07:57:00.000+10:00

another collage

Love is a special way of feeling

2006-07-23T19:13:00.000+10:00

Love is a special way of feeling...

It is the way we feel when we sit on our mother's lap with her arms around us tight and close.

It is the good way we feel when we talk to someone and they want to listen and don't tell us to go away and be quiet

It is the happy way we feel when we save a bird that has been hurt...
or feed a lost cat...
or calm a frightened colt.

Love is found in unexpected places...
it is there in the quiet moment when we first discover a beautiful thing...
when we watch a bird soar high against a pale blue sky...

when we see a lovely flower that no one else has noticed...

when we find a place that shelters us and is all our very own.

Love starts in little ways...
It may begin the day we first share our thoughts with someone else...

or help someone who needs us...

Or, sometimes, it begins because, even without words, we understand how someone feels.

Love comes quietly...
but you know when it is there, because, suddenly you are not alone any more...
and there is no sadness inside you.

Love is a happy feeling that stays inside your heart for the rest of your life.

(This is the text in 'Love is a special way of feeling' by Joan Walsh Anglund. A kids book...but it resonates nonetheless and the pictures are exquisite)

wake up from your sleep

2006-07-20T08:33:00.000+10:00

The thing I hate most about winter is probably getting out of bed in the morning. Something about hitting the cold air after being wrapped in layer upon layer of blankets. Anyway, it's not pleasant. I wish I was still in bed.

After I managed to ease my protesting little body out of bed, I managed to find these verses. I like how 'the message' says it, so here it is

Ephesians 5
1-2Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper
behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with
him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not
cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but
to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.

God does things so differently to how we do. He sees things differently. He loves differently. (and for that I am very glad). It can often be our natural reaction to be cautious with who we love and how we love, but it's not what should be happening.

Our example...the God we are called to imitate loves in a different dimension altogether. It's extravagant and wild and passionate and completely free.. No strings attatched.

Oh my.

'Miss Mildura'

2006-07-19T18:19:00.000+10:00

This beautiful lady was my Great Grandma. I never got to meet her, and I'm not exactly sure why I'm putting this up, other than that I think it is lovely. She was 18 at the time and was 'Miss Mildura'...so there's a beauty queen in the family line! You've got to love that!

The photo (as you may be able to tell from my great gran's attire) is from the 20's sometime, an era which I think is particularly fascinating.

lighthouse

2006-07-17T07:51:00.000+10:00

another collage.

imagination...

2006-07-15T13:15:00.000+10:00

I've been playing with collages. Helps to get the creative juices flowing without really worrying on the outcome or anything else. This is one of the ones I've done, I'll be putting some more of them up here, when I can be bothered.

I've been getting into thinking about why I bother with things that are, when you think about it practically, pretty useless. But that isn't the point. The point for me is that creativity is a lifestyle...it's something that everyone is born with and that everyone uses in different ways. The sad thing is that some people lose that. People allow themselves to become routine and sterile.

The ingrained need we have to create is beautiful, a reflection of our wild and creative God. It's rather freeing when you allow yourself to do something simply for the pleasure of being able to look at what you've done and see that it is good (sound familiar anyone?).

I love the way that kids create, without fear of getting things wrong, fully expecting to be appreciated. It's kind of cool that we're aksed to have faith like a child as well. And this coming from the aforementiond wild, creative God.

There's beauty in imagination and simple unpolluted love.

no coincidence!

2006-07-12T22:25:00.000+10:00

(picture is me as a little tacker...I still remember the day that it was taken, and I just like the photo)

I pinched 'The Birth Order Book - why you are the way you are' (Kevin Leman) from Bec's room this evening...

Being a youngest child, I was interested to see what that meant in regards to my personality...I had to laugh when the first thing I read was spot on.

First of all I want all you babies of the family to know that I'm onto you.
I know you have just skipped the first eight chapters and started right here. I
understand.

True to Dr. Leman's theory I had done the typical youngest thing (and in the first few sentences). You've got to love it when something hits you like that and you go 'hang on, maybe there's something in this'. Either way, it made me laugh!

Ended up reading or at least skimming in depth the whole book. It's fascinating how people work. A lot of interesting stuff on how our birth order can affect our career and our relationships...

I'm advised (for a highly successful relationship) to marry a first born or only child ;)

Memories and mess

2006-07-11T22:32:00.000+10:00

I found this photo tonight as I was going through my boxes of memories. Being in a creative mood sent me seeking inspiration, and somehow I ended up reading a million old letters, looking at special photos and holding and touching the objects that are pretty well sacred to me.

Doing this, always puts me in a bittersweet mood. It's the memories tied to so many things that I've had to say goodbye to that are a little saddening but at the same times at least double as special for it. Needless to say, this memorial journey though everything also makes a huge mess. A small price to pay.

I was over the moon to find this picture, as it is pretty much my favourite family shot from ever. I love the way that none of us were ready for it, and therefore there is no posing. No fake smiles. No chance that it would ever be put up on the walls and fridges of churches and families that we need support from...(ah the joys of growing up as a missionary kid).

Strangely enough, this captures perfectly all of us.

From the left we have Bec, Dad, Me, Laura, Mum and Em.

Aye!

2006-07-09T19:40:00.000+10:00

Life is good. It's just nice to be here.

Last night I sang at a fundraiser for the oaktree foundation...great fun, though my italian song wasn't half as good as it should have been, due to some issues with the mike and never having practised with the flute in it. But that's ok, my second song (Stuff and Nonsense - a Neil Finn number) went really well so I'm all smiling. Bec wrote about the recital/concert as well so I'll leave that one there.

Today was an all round wonderful day. Church in the morning included 'How great thou art' which is always good, but was today especially amazing. Following church we made our way to the Mellow's place for lunch. We grew up with their three boys, and spending time with them now is still just as comfortable and fun as it was when we were all kids in the Solomons, begging to stay for another half an hour.

Phillip, Kevin, Leon, Em and I trundled off after lunch to the movies to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2, which as far as sequels go I enjoyed immensely (take that all you critics!). I think I can overlook a little bad acting (cough) orlando (bloom cough) when all things piratey are involved...and Johnny Depp - brilliant as usual.

Taking the train there also provided some entertainment. The guys (a middle eastern and a dutch guy - both middle aged) bechind us were having a very suss sounding conversation of which we caught the phrases 'after the forgery scam', 'the pipes under the drugs' and 'the president of Afghanistan'. Then the Dutch guy starts talking about tigers and how he works with them and 'they all live in one house with us'....what on earth? The people you meet on trains...

After the movie, back to the Mellow's for dessert and then home.

I'm contemplating being creative now.

the picture is from the very cool exploding dog site.

pottering along

2006-07-05T17:44:00.000+10:00

Today was a pottering sort of day. Nothing much got accomplished, and nothing really needed to. It was nice.

Tea, a couple of Good books and silly little pen drawings (more tea?) gave me something to do.

In the afternoon I helped mum deliver the papers and junkmail... the walk involved was lovely due to a sky full of glorious clouds and a bit of a sunset. I saw Kujo - a dog of the small and very yappy variety, the one armed man that lives at the top of Katherine Place and several kids playing on the road (smart kids...real smart).

I'm here with a smile and a growling stomach.

dinner soon. I hope.

a few pictures

2006-07-04T10:57:00.000+10:00

I thought it was time I put up a couple of pictures from Centre Trip...

This is me with a honey ant...tasty and thankfully not sticky enough to fuel my honey phobia!

one of the many amazing dead trees...this one was at Kata Tjuta on the way to the Valley of the Winds. No, I didn't take the photo wonky, it was on a hill.

Ok, this is me holding a Kangaroo leg that we butchered off some fresh roadkill. My teacher is very into 'not being wasteful' hence the butchering and consequent eating of roadkill on more than one occasion.

One of the sketches I started and still haven't finished. Half of this one was drawn in the dark...hence the roughness. Oh yes, it's Uluru if you hadn't picked that up already.

Another very quick sketch, this time in charcoal. It was the view from some rocks at our first bush camp.

Here I am at Yuendumu holding Genie...she was about one and as you can see absolutely beautiful.

This sketch was yet another I did on the run. We hiked up Yuendumu Hill and this was all I managed to get down in the few minutes between chasing after the kids...good fun!

Kings Canyon was amazing. What else can I say?

Here's some of the kids and I at Yuendumu!

There's about a gazillion other photos, but they might have to make it on later. Enjoy!

a kick up the backside

2006-07-03T14:25:00.000+10:00

Something that I want to get down before the freshness of it leaves my poor little head is something that struck home while we were in Central Australia (in particular at Yuendumu, the Aboriginal community we stayed in).
It is the way in which our culture tends to turn everything into an egocentric affair. Western ideals are more often than not about the individual. Individual achievement...individual gain...individual faith?

Now don't get me wrong. I believe deeply in having a highly personal relationship with God. God is relational in the deepest sense, and we are invited into a intimate relationship with Him...I love that.
What I'm talking about, and some of what came up on the trip was this westernised individual perspective in relation to Sin and social justice.

Social Justice is a term that gets chucked about a lot. Especially in 'christian' circles, but a lot of what goes on is all talk and no action. I definately am guilty of this, and probably will continue to be. But social justice is something I think that needs to be taken a lot more seriously.
This drive for personal gain, personal happiness and personal conviction which our culture percieves as most important has also by the look of it crept into our faith. This isn't all bad. But having this overly personal view rammed down our throats has crippled a lot of the love that we are called to.

Sin being anything that falls short of what God requires, is not only limited to 'personal sin', but also involves all forms of injustice... as one of the Guys put it...

Since when has homosexuality, abortion and pre-maritial sex become a bigger issue as 'sins' to us in the western church than poverty, world hunger and inequality?

Way to make you think.

I'm not sure what exactly I'm trying to get across, but it's a bit of a kick up the backside to realise that your Christianity and your fight against sin cannot simply be a personal thing.

Anyone else with more ideas...help me out!

18 days

2006-06-30T20:22:00.000+10:00

And now I have the hugely difficult task of trying to describe Centre Trip. To make it very simple I could say 'Wow' and leave it at that, but for blogging purposes I will do as Sam suggested and start at the start. I kept a journal (yes we were made to...thankyou school) so this should be a fairly accurate account. I'll spare you most of the journally bits and give you the tastier pieces. Enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day One

I wrote...

It is a rare day when I am able to come suddenly and perfectly awake. This
is what I do today. 3.15 am. You've got to be kidding me! Time to grab at least
another hour of sleep...I give that idea up rather quickly. This girl isn't
sleeping any more today!

Heading off at 5.30 am to 18 days in Central Australia is such a thrill. I have always loved travelling, and leaving while it is still dark simply adds to the experience. It doesn't matter that on this first day all we will do is drive to Adelaide. I don't care. I'm so excited that I hum and buzz and hop. As the sun rises the sky turns pink and a large pale moon gives me the shivers. U2's 'It's a beautiful day' begins over the bus speakers. The vibe is set!

Day Two

Once again we are on the bus. We are instructed to reflect on time (as a sort of theme) and then given 20 minutes to do so. How Ironic.

I wrote

Time is something that is hard to get a handle on. It's so strange to
think that I'll never have this moment again. Ever. Time is a human invention.
It limits us. I believe in a God that has no limit...If God is unlimited and
eternal in the whole 'time' thing, is he also beyond our understanding in
everything else? I think so. I love the way that we can understand just enough
of God to figure out that we will never be able to fully comprehend Him.
My time is precious, but it is a gift to be enjoyed and celebrated as
well as a tool to be worked with. Life is to be delighted in , and our time
should be used accordingly. No-body can control the amount of time they are
given, and therefore who are we to live mediocre or complacent lives? What a
thrill!

p>

Other than that, just more driving. We made it into the desert about lunchtime, and I wrote a little poem...

Desert

Life in an empty place

Pushing out from dry earth

Stealing into corners

Creeping across endless space

Love in a lonely place

Flows from a thirsty heart

Invades the harsh landscape

Filling the emptiness

Day three

Glen Dambo morning proved to be freezing. Numb all over and a cold shower. Beautiful sunrise though!

More driving. Had my hair braided into a gazillion little braids. Arrived at our first bush camp. Did some charcoal sketching etc etc.

Lucy and I pioneered the useage of the girls 'toilets' (holes). A proud moment for all involved...

Went to bed freezing but under a magnificent night sky!

Day Four

Day four I awoke to the most beautiful sky. The stars (it was 5.30 am) were shining through layers of glorious clouds. Despite the numb feet, it was a lovely morning. Sunrise and all.

Back on the bus we were prompted to think about Aboriginal Land rightsand other related topics:
I wrote...

It is one thing to own a 1/3 of an acre in Suburbia, it is entirely
different when we are out here with the land stretching out for thousands of
kilometeres in each directon. Back at home the idea of owning land makes
snese to me, but strangely enough, out here it seems sort of ridiculous. How can
we 'own' land? Still, the concept of either land belonging to you or you
belonging to the land is quite an appealing notion. I believe it can work both
ways, the point is having a place to call home. In our society
that means 'owning' and in Aboriginal Culture being 'owned'. Problems occur when
we try and combine both views.

The lunch stop was in Alice Springs (different to how I expected) and then another cold 30 second shower at Tillmouth Wells roadhouse.

On to the second bush camp...I had a pretty special hour or so where I just lay on my sleeping bag, listened to an amazing cd that my friend made for me and watched the stars come out.

Dinner, a warble around the campfire and bed. By now I'm used to the 5.30 starts and the bush 'toilets'. Not so used to the cold.

Day Five

Start bright and early. Hike up the little ridge next to us. Lovely! Nice also to get some exercise after sitting in the bus for so long.

Drive 100 or so km's on unmade road (bumping and jarring) Not far to go, but so rough that it takes us about 3 hours. We finally reached Yuendumu the Aboriginal Communtiy where we were to stay for the next three days.

I wrote...

Driving into Yuendumu felt like coming home. The wonky buildings, mangy
dogs and snotty nosed kids made me feel like I was in Honiara again. I love it.
The biggest thrill was when a bus full of the kids pulled in, a little
girl came straight over to me, took my hand and asked for my name. I told her,
and picked her up. It's amazing how open and expectantly friendly the kids are.
Her name was Sarah. She looked at me, examined my face and touched my hair.
'You're pretty' she said. My heart Melted.
The people at Yuendumu are incredible. From the moment the first busload
of kids arrived, we were met with uninhibited curiosity, friendliness, energy
and a willingness to love. Being a 'Nampijinpa' I quickly found sisters and
cousins all over the place. Some of the older girls even coyly suggested who I
was allowed to marry. We cuddled and played with the little ones. I was
constantly carrying at least one child, if not two or three. The snotty
noses and distinct smell of the kids ceased to matter as we opened ourselves to
them.

Day Six

Still at Yuendumu, more interaction with the kids, a trip to the 'art centre' and a whole lot of washing to be done in a bucket. The sun was out and beautiful, the washing was relaxing and on the whole very theraputic.

Day Seven

Church in Yuendumu was a bit of an experience.

I wrote...

Today was Sunday, Church at Yuendumu was once again reminding me of home
in the Solomons. We arrived for a ten o'clock start, and over half an hour later
some of them wandered in and began to set up the old PA. Life without time
constraints...lovely!
Church itself was an experience, dull in places, lively in others. I
enjoyed it, but didn't really feel like I'd put much into it. I was sort of a
spectator. I desperately wanted time to withdraw a little afterwards and spend
time with no-one else around. amd just find God in the day...more so that is.
Not that God can be 'found'...it's more him that does the finding.

We had a bit of an interesting look at cultural differences, and how the Aboriginal community were embracing Christianity in a way which complimented and completed their culture rather than abolishing it. The use of song and traditional paintings throughout the service was fascinating. More on related things later.

Also went hunting. Ate honey ants, kangaroo (including liver, heart and brains...go me!) and some little flower things.

Day eight and nine

Back in Alice springs for a couple of days. Time to re-stock (in my case on Jersey Caramels) and pick up mail. We went out for dinner one night and managed a couple of amazing HOT showers. Both mornings were so cold that I woke up with frost on my sleeping bag...seems strange for the middle of the desert.

Day ten

Our tenth night was at an amazing bush camp. Red sand-dunes and beautiful desert oaks. I was feeling quite shocking...nauseous, headache etc...but we did this 'dark activity' where you go and sit silently by yourself in the dark and then write down your thoughts.

I wrote...

Sullenly I wonder if my hands will be too cold to write. I gaze out into the
dark and suddenly it doesn't matter that I'm tired and cold and sick. Suddenly I
get a glimpse of just how small I am. The dark sky stretches down to meet the
desert. It's like I'm in some sort of snow globe...the stars rush towards me and
I begin to wonder whether anyone has ever been around to see and hear exactly
what I am now seeing. As if in response to that thought, a shooting star dances
across the sky, so quick that had I blinked I would have missed it. All my
senses seem to sharpen. I sit, still and silent as I become a part of the
landscape. I realise I've been holding my breath. I let it out now, slow and
steady, only to take it in again sharply. The cold that seemed opressive before
has become exhilarating. It is so hard to be selfish, sarcastic, cynical or even
tired whilst taking time to just absorb the night...

Day eleven

Kings Canyon. Breathtaking.

Wrote a descrptive piece on it...may post at a later date.

Day twelve

Uluru...also amazing.

I wrote...

Driving into Uluru for the first time was a very powerful experience. Solid
Rock was playing, and the desert was stretching out on both sides, an unbroken
view of the magnificent rock. At the same time as I was getting shivers and
tingles, I heard one of the girls saying 'Why does it even matter to us? I mean,
it's just a big rock!' Well, that got me thinking. Why so important? Why was I
so moved by it? To tell the truth I think it comes back to it being a 'sacred'
place. Now I don't believe the particular Dreaming stories associated with
Uluru, but there is something about the place which is deeply spiritual. How can
anyone see something this incredible, this...odd, without thinking and relating
it back to God, or at least something outside themselves. It worried me that so
many people were taking it lightly. The commercialism of the place seems to have
cheapened the experience.

Day thirteen

We hiked Kata Tjuta to the Valley of the Winds. The view was stunning. Completely wild. I did some sketching and then wrote an odd little entry in my Journal.

I wrote...

I am hiking behind Steve our cook and he has the oddest looking elbows I've
ever seen. His arms are covered in thick, dark hair all except for the
aforementioned elbows which are completely bald, quite red and have strange
little folds of skin. As he swings his arms, the skin moves back and forwards so
that you get the impression of little mouths talking to one another. For some
unknown reason this fascinaes me much more than it should. I am endlessly amused
by the ridiculous and Steve's elbows keep me entertained for the dullest part of
the hike...before the beauty and strangeness of Kata Tjuta steals my attention
and takes my breath away.

Day fourteen

Interesting discussion on western views of christianity and sin. Made me think a lot. Will post more about that at a later date.

Base walk at Uluru.

Bus to Coober Pedy... blergh.

Day fifteen

Coober Pedy is such a hole. The treelessness scared me, and the only nice thing was our first warm (underground) beds for at least two weeks and more Jersey Caramels from the supermarket...Oh wait...the lady that did the opal cutting demo was kind of cute and funny. Did I mention she had a beard?

Day sixteen

The final Bush Camp. I hadn't been looking forward to it (I can't remember why) but when we got there and I saw the beautiful red sand, the twisted trees and enough sky to drown in I changed my mind.

I wrote...

When we got to our camp, I spent the fisrt half hour or so just sittin on
the ground drawing in the sand. Patterns, trees and occaisionally some words.
very relaxing. After that was the usual bush camp routine, set up, eat,
sit round the fire, pee in a hole etc. etc. I borrowed a blanket and had an
excellent last night under the stars. How sad that it will be the last for now.
It will be a miserable business sleeping back inside
Day seventeen

.Back on the bus and into SA again. Stopped for a ramble on Lake Hart (a salt lake) where I managed to like the salt..woo! Stopped for our last night at a church hall in Murray Bridge.

Day eighteen

I wrote...

This trip has flown (but dragged) in usual camp style. It has made me grow a little...or a lot... of patience, made me question 'western' culture in relation to God and the way I approcah my own Christianity. I've laughed a lot, cried a bit and am craving and appreciate my life and family relationships. I know what I can do with and wthout. I love life. I love travelling. I love people. I love the land and the isolation. I love the trees. I love the long hours of time to just sit and think. I think I told someone at least once a day to 'embrace' what we were experiencing. I have developed an un-natural craving for cherry ripes and Jersy Caramels and now have 40 cents left in the world. 500 km to home...

Home again, home again (Jiggetty Jig?)

2006-06-29T21:58:00.000+10:00

I'm home.

Exhausted but thrilled.

John...my blog design pretty much makes you the master of all things swell. Almost.

The Red Centre

2006-06-11T19:56:00.000+10:00

Well, this is it! Tomorrow morning at 5.30 I'm off to Central Australia for three weeks! I'm so excited, I really can't wait to just get out there and see this beautiful country. I'm quite afraid that we'll go so fast I won't be able to take everything in.

You'll get the full update when I return, but for now...last minute packing and then bed.

that's if I can sleep with all the excitement!

A constant

2006-06-09T21:45:00.000+10:00

It's a night where I feel like I have a lot to write about, but am unsure of how to go about it. I am sitting in my room, lamp on lights off. Enya 'The Memory of Trees' is in my cd player.

Most of the day was spent uselessly at school because we had pretty much no classes on. Now i'm not complaining, I cut a friend's hair (poor him) and had a good conversation with one of the teachers about the lack of arts based subject choice etc. at my school. Everyone is talking about and planning for Centre Trip (3 weeks in central Australia) and we leave on Monday morning at the the glorious hour of 5.30 am. Yikes.

I've always loved travelling, and leaving on a trip, or even to pick someone up from the airport while it is still dark has always thrilled me for some reason. This is the only thing that makes the 5.30 start time slightly more bearable and infact almost quite lovely in my mind.

Still don't know how to express what I'm feeling. It's a lovely inspired sort of emotion, underlaid with a touch of sadness and a touch of apprehension and under that again is peace. Now i'm not sure if it is lovely with those other things, or if it is lovely because of the situatons behind those other things. I'm pretty sure the peace has nothing to do with me.

I'm really appreciating these couple of verses at the moment, half reassurance half a challenge. It's what I need.

Philippians 4: 6-8
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Too often people take this as a 'I need to cut out this and this and this and this from my thoughts' but even more than a checklist, I am inspired by this. Too bad if it's been cliche'd by a lot of people... that's the beauty of God... he isn't confined or cut short by our own little misuses of things. He reveals himself through the obscure and through the blatantly obvious. To make it simple, God is all around us and these are the things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Instead of confining ourselves, this is rather freeing. Life is rich with God. What a pleasure!!

peace is definately something worth chasing as a day to day thing. As a constant.

Family and my now desperate need for sleep

2006-06-07T23:00:00.000+10:00

Wow what a long day. I had my Drama Ensemble performance tonight, so we started rehearsing at school at 11.30 and continued with it until the performances at 7...I got home about an hour ago and man am I ready for some sleep. Strangely enough, here I am blogging instead of getting the much needed shut eye.

Drama is a passion for me. It really is. I was up there on stage tonight, thinking how vastly different this trait is compared to the rest of my family. Now on stage is probably a bad place to begin thinking thoughts like that, but it really has been on the mind tonight. Not in a nasty sort of way, but in an 'oh, yes. I see.' sort of way.

I often feel like a bit of an oddball in my family when it comes to things like this, I know that they can appreciate it, enjoy it and realise that I love it, but just how much I do is probably not such an easy concept for a bunch of introverts like them. I was actually quite disappointed to only see 3/5 family members there to see me. Oh well, probably my fault for forgetting that they probably had no idea it was on.

In fact, the more I think about this, the more I realise that some of my family does not know me as well as I would like at all. Again this is probably mostly or at least partly my fault. Being the youngest one with the theatrical tendencies is not always an easy 'role' to get out of when you would like to be taken seriously or wanting to express yourself on a slightly deeper level. As a result, my family know several facets of me very well, and the other sides barely at all. I think I am a bit afraid of being vunerable to them, not because I don't love them. I do. Desperately so.
It is something that I dislike immensely, because it means that a fair few of the people that mean the world to me don't actually know me beyond comfortable surface knowledge and an over familiarity with some of my good and especially my bad points.

It was bought home to me again tonight after getting home from Drama. I was chatting to Dan online and he mentioned that Bec was thinking/planning a trip to Tassie to do the overland track. I said...how cool! What he said next kind of surprised me. He said 'She didnt think you'd want to come.'
sirens went off in my head

'she thought wrong' I said
'I thought so' he said

now I find it a little strange and a little sad, that my own sister (yes dear I can hear you next door) would not know that I would love that.

By the way, this is HANNAH and not EMILY ...just in case you forgot Bec. For those of you that don't know, Emily would not be partial to hiking in Tassie. And surprise surprise, I would. How glorious!

Apologies for the blog turned rant. Sisters, if you read this it is cetainly not an attack on you...I'm just wrestling with these notions, Much of it is my own fault. It's quite thought inducing to realise that the person you know you are and want to be known by others as has not been realised by some of the people you share a house with.
Now either there is something wrong with me, or the Fam and I have grown complacent in our relationships with each other. I really do crave to be known as more than just the little sister. And I'm quite positive that I want to know them a fair chunck better than I currently do.

Take me seriously...but not too seriously!

love the youngest.

Smile you Fool!

2006-06-06T22:55:00.000+10:00

I was thinking and praying last night about coming to God with a clean slate. With a fresh almost desperate need for Him. Finding time in the morning is quite hard for me, but it's become a craving of mine to read a bit of the bible before i get ready for school. This morning I happened on Psalm 143

this verse (9) especially jumped out at me:

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love.
For I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

hearing that after last night asking God to open me up (again) to needing him was refreshing. The morning did bring me word of God's unfailing love.

I'm being bombarded with the fact that God is refreshing and faithful; a strange but wonderful combination. Life is supposed to be lived joyfully. I know its not always happy, but I'm coming to see that living joyfully is quite different alltogether. Living joyfully is about being able to fall back on the fact that God is a good God, no matter what. A big thought for little minds, and I like that.

On a different note, smiling at random people is something i try and do regularly. Today we went on a rather boring excursion and I began the smiling thing. I like to make other people smile, especially if they look like they're having a bit of a nothing day. It relieves the boredom and hopefully some of the unhappy and unappreciated feelings in people's days.
I'm pretty sure it freaks some people out, but hey, you win some you lose some.

Old people especially love to be smiled at, and I oblige. Makes the day all round much brighter.

On the bus on the way home I looked down at my hand and for some reason it had written on it in pen 'Smile you fool'

...thing is, I have no idea how that got there!

Oh dear. It must be bedtime soon.

an african boy

2006-06-05T21:19:00.000+10:00

I drew this one a while back, but I quite like it, to tell the truth i was desperate to draw a bald head! It was very satisfying.

That and the fact that I love kids, especially kids from other cultures.

My Precious

2006-06-04T13:37:00.000+10:00

Here is gollum...for your veiwing and commenting pleasure.

I shut myself in my room a couple of weeks ago and drew him. No reason really, just because I love Lord of the Rings and was in a drawing mood.

The photo of the drawing is not an especially good one, but i was quite happy with how the sketch came out. I work off photos mainly when I do portrait work. This one was just an image from one of the movies.

Well this is pretty much just a post to put up some more of my arty workings.

peace!

how to hold on to it

2006-06-03T12:46:00.000+10:00

Leunig captures it beautifully. There have been a lot of things recently which I have a deep desire to hold onto. I'm not sure how to describe them really. Just incredible thoughts and feelings that should not be left in the moment.

It would seem that I'm having an influx of these precious moments, and don't know how to deal with them all. It's a lovely sort of confusion.

I have been driven to open up my sacred box of memories several times over the last few months and attempt to capture a little of what I am feeling so that it can go in there along with my other most precious things. Needless to say, in the capturing department I've probably failed miserably, but thankfully it is enough for me to look back and know exactly what I meant.

People's memories fascinate me. I know that I am not alone in having a bit of a secret box, but I always find myself wondering what other people put in theirs...if they do so at all. I know for sure that some of the stuff that I keep in mine would make no sense to anyone other than me, and I love that. On saying that, it's a bit of a dream of mine to be able to share those memories with someone one day. Granted, it would have to be a very special someone.

This has been a bit of a nothing post. Other than that I am reminding myself to hold onto the lovely moments, or the moments that hurt but that are far far too significant to remember a blurred account. Thankfullly, the former currently far outweighs the latter.

And I love Leunig. What can I say.

To blog? Or not to blog?

2006-06-02T23:04:00.000+10:00

To blog or not to blog?

I posed this question to Rebecca this evening. After initial confusion over who I was referring to (in her usual style, she assumed I meant her) she was very keen on the idea. Even offered to help me set up.

I was undecided until my mother walked into the room and said 'Hannah you don't have enough time in your dear little life to Blog.'

That was it. She barely knows what a blog is, and her suggestion that I would be able to study more if I didn't blog, was not a very appealing one. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mum and I'm not a slacker when it comes to studying, but there is a small defiant piece in me that went 'I think I will.' So here I am. Hopefully with something more than drivel. We shall see.

I thought it would be rather swell to get some of my art up. So you may see that too.
Infact you may see some now. The picture is this week's latest painting by yours truly. A bit messy, a bit colourful. That's how I felt at the time.

I'd sum myself up now, but to be quite honest I'd rather not. I doubt I could do it adequately anyway. The 'Hi I'm Hannah and I love trees and red meat' doesn't really do my whole personaltiy justice...but it's a start.

Enjoy.